Not Like Before
by Maeve Bran
Summary: What happened when Buffy and Angel met for that talk after she came back from the dead the second time.


**Title**: Not Like Before 

**Author**: Maeve Bran

**Rating**: K+

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Buffy or Angel.

**Summary**: What happened when Buffy and Angel met for that talk after she came back from the dead the second time.

**Spoilers**: Angel 3.4 Carpe Noctum and Buffy the Vampire Slayer 6.4.

**Still My Girl Prompt**: You lost me the moment you left.

* * *

Angel stood waiting in the shadows of the picnic area on the beach. Buffy was coming and what could he say? "Oh, I'm sorry you died again?" "I missed you?" He didn't know. Both were true but they sounded trite. "I'm glad you're back?" That was true, too, but just as trite. Besides, what could he say about his feelings that wouldn't be answered by a "Of course you lost me, you left me first" from Buffy. It would be true, but it wouldn't erase his genuine grief at her death. Nor would it stifle his guilt over that day he took back.

Thoughts raced through his brain and all he could think was that he had to let Buffy lead the conversation where she needed it to go. He could well remember his own struggle back to the land of the living, or un-living as the case may be, three years ago after his return from centuries in Hell. Buffy had been there for him, and he would be there for her.

Before he could brood any more, his enhanced vampiric hearing picked up the tread of the Slayer's feet as she ambled down the cement path toward him. He turned and watched her, drinking in the sight. She was just as lovely as ever and the sight broke his no longer beating heart.

"Hey, Buffy," he said as he walked towards her, careful to stay out of the late afternoon sun. Once she reached him, he kissed her cheek in the European manner of greeting.

"Hey, yourself," she said as she sat down at one of the picnic benches. Angel sat down at another across from her. They were silent for a while, each drinking in the sight of the other and taking in the changes their respective battles against evil had wrought. Then she spoke again. "We both know what has been up with me, being dead and all, so what have you been up to?"

Angel almost smiled at that. It was such a Buffy way to broach the subject they were there to talk about. "Well, when Willow brought us the news, we had just come back from rescuing Cordy in Pylea. The Pyleans had made her a Princess, can you believe it?"

"Well, she always thought she was royalty. She must have enjoyed it." Buffy seemed mildly amused by this info.

"Yeah, but after a week in which she was going to be forced to marry someone and was basically used as a puppet we overthrew the government and came home," Angel replied. "After, you know, Willow..." here Angel's voice nearly broke with the remembered grief of Willow's news. "After Willow told us of your sacrifice, which I'm prodigiously proud of you for making by the way, I went to Sri Lanka to a monastery to try to get over you."

Here he almost grinned, "But instead, I found a monastery full of demon monks that I of course defeated. You know me, I can't do anything simply."

"I do know you, and I know that there must be more to the story from Pylea, but I won't pry." The beginnings of a smirk played at Buffy's mouth, but then she appeared to remember more serious thoughts. "Angel, I never thanked you for coming, you know-- when-- Mom died. I needed you and you came. I thought I had lost you when you left for LA, and after that stuff with Riley and Faith, but you still came. Thank you."

"I thought I had lost you too, but I could never leave you to grieve by yourself even if you have Dawn now." Angel said earnestly. "And while we're on the subject of Dawn, what happens now that she is no longer the Key?"

"She's my sister or something. The monks made her from my DNA so maybe she's my kid, I don't know. All I need to know is that she's family," Buffy answered.

"Family is important. Nothing is more important than family," Angel agreed, looking down at the ground, remembering his family and how he had killed them.

"Nothing is more important," Buffy agreed as she got up and moved to sit next to him. She put a hand on his arm. "Angel, family is not just blood relatives. Family is also those whom you chose to love. From what Willow tells me, you have quite the family in LA with Wes, Cordy, Gunn, and I guess this girl, Fred."

"Yeah, they are my family," Angel agreed.

"And no matter what, I'll always consider you part of my family," Buffy offered. "We've been through so much, Angel, not to continue to care. And that's family too."

"Yes, it is. I will always consider you part of my family. So Buffy, tell me what is really bothering you." Angel looked up and saw the surprise in Buffy's face. He still had the uncanny ability to read Buffy's face. "Buffy, you know you can tell me anything. I've been there."

"I know. Of all the people I know, you're the one that has come back from the dead as much as I have." Buffy laughed ironically. "A slayer with more in common with a vampire than with her human friends."

Angel joined in the ironic laughter. "That has always been the case with us, hasn't it?" he continued to prod. "Buffy, you're talking about everything but what really needs to be said. As you said, I know what it's like."

"I'm tired of people trying to cheer me up and make it like it was before. It will never be like it was before. I don't need the constant sympathy." Buffy said. Then she looked down at her watch and stood again, "It's been good seeing you, but I have to be getting home."

Angel stood and put his arms out and Buffy moved into his embrace. He held her for a minute before she pulled back to look into his whiskey brown eyes. "Thanks for understanding, Angel."

He looked into her eyes and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before releasing her.

"You're welcome. I'm so glad you are back," he said as they parted ways.

(end)


End file.
